Today, we finally arrive at the most beautiful and empowered approach, the path of the Mystic, or the Third Way. It’s where our sexuality gets untwisted and transformed. It is fitting that we “finally” arrive here today, because the mystical path usually comes to us after many years of trial and error in both of the other approaches.

We have twisted ourselves into a sexual pretzel by either denying and suppressing our sexuality and falsely detaching, or by acting out in addictive and harmful behaviors and falsely attaching.

We might have begun to realize that something seems to be missing in our sexuality, and more so that we are actually not loving (ourselves and others) so well whilst engaging sexually. We humbly recognize that in truth, we have mostly been trying to meet our own needs. And funny enough that ultimately has not fulfilled our needs at all!

We are ready for something better, something more beautiful, more true and in alignment with what we know deep down is our sexual destiny. We want to get drunk on Love’s divine nectar and engage in a sexual passion that burns for eternity and leaves us aflame with that boundless rapture!   

Now we are embarking on the mystical journey. The mystical path is neither solely detachment nor solely attachment; it’s a dance between the two.

We lovingly and firmly stand in the middle of the Stoic and the Addict, not just in regards to our sexuality, but in all areas of our life. Knowing we are made for More, we hold the shadow sides of our sexual desires and the pain of it in love and compassion until Grace transforms us into wholeness.

The Stoic under Grace then takes on the qualities of care, respect and loving self-discipline. The Addict under Grace then opens to the qualities of surrender, aliveness and total abandon. Yes, the addict and the mystic are closely connected. They both are deeply in touch with the ache, the pang, the longing for something more.

Yet the one difference between them, as we talked about in our blog last week is that the mystic turns it all towards Grace! Now the same passionate desire- untwisted- can become a sacred rocket ship.

The Mystic discovers there is no separation between sex and the rest of life. Everything is a sign of Grace, including one’s own body!Whatever life situation we find ourselves in, we are willing to slow down, to be here now, and tune into the sensations of our body as the doorway to the Sacred. As Mystics we know the body is a sign of God’s Love and we use it as such, neither suppressing nor acting out its desires.

Once we can stand in that third spacious way, we are in the place of Grace out of which genuine newness can come. This is where creativity and new forms of alive and healthy sexuality emerge.


The mystical man is a warrior for Love. He knows his vocation is to protect the dignity of woman. He consciously discerns what brings him closer to Love, and what doesn’t and acts accordingly. Nothing brings him more joy than to show up for his woman in a strong yet unguarded way, and help her open and surrender to the deepest passions of her Love. He is a Noble Man.

The mystical woman knows her sexuality is a sacred garden. She only opens the garden gates to real love and presence. She never allows herself to be used, and deeply values the connection between her body and her heart. Once she feels protected and safe, she allows herself to fully let go and surrender into Love’s rapture. She becomes the wind underneath her Noble Man’s wings.

 Mystics are real life people like you and me. Mystics might be the married couple of 20 year who patiently, humbly and willingly have a new beginning in their sex life because they have noticed that they have taken each other for granted and lost the spark. Or it might be the commitment-phobic man who realizes he has been hurting the women in his life by only using them for pleasure and does the inner work to truly open his heart. Or it might be the woman who finally lets go of turning to unavailable men for crumbs of love, and resolves to give her whole being to someone who can truly offer her a banquet.

 Sex now becomes “Love Making”. We literally make more love in the world. Our sexuality becomes a gift, for the other and for the world. It is not any more about getting my YaYas out, or a painful test to prove and validate that I am lovable or worthy.It is about undefended sharing of all of us, our heart, body and soul and opening to the ecstasy of self donating love, beyond anything what we could ever have imagined.

At COR, we’re deeply committed to pursuing the mystic path in all of life. Our work seeks to remind you that the mystical path is ENTIRELY available to you.

At COB we create a safe and powerful space for this sacred untwisting so you can live who you truly are.


To further your own mystical inquiry, ask yourself:

What in my life needs untwisting?

What brings me in touch with Grace?

What supports me in growing as a mystic?