Lee and I (right) had a wonderful time facilitating our one day Valentine’s Workshop “All You Need is Love” in Los Angeles over the weekend at the home of our COB SoCal community coordinator Jessica Vignolle and her husband Greg (left).
As we now arriving at week three of February, with Valentine’s Day behind us, we come to the third Gateway to Love, which I call “Holding Space for the Other- Getting from Me to We.”
What do I mean by that?
Well, it is easy to be in our healthy self, present and happy, when everything goes our way. When we get what we want and everyone agrees with us.
As we all know these are rare moments.
Our ability and maturity as people who love gets tested, strengthened and refined throughout our lifetime by our ability to realize there is an “other” over there with a completely different background, with their own wounds, gifts, defenses, needs and desires.
That might be what makes our two gender workshops – the Noble Man, where women hold space for men, and the Power of Love, where men hold space for women – so special. Each gender holds space for the opposite gender- the “other.” Each gender group collectively and as an individual is asked to let go of their own way of seeing things, and go on a journey; the journey into the land of the “other.”
At our upcoming Noble Man Workshop for example, our female staff will be holding space for all of the male participants throughout the three and half-day retreat. By having women actively listen, meaning listening with a true interest and without an agenda, a very safe and loving container is created for the men to access the blocks that are holding them back with women and in life, and to release them.
True listening means sincerely seeking to understand what brings the other joy, and what brings them pain. What ache is in their heart that needs to be heard? What lifts their heart in joy and jubilation?
That kind of listening catapults us out of our constant little “me, me, me.” We are finally able to tune into the big collective “We,” where everyone is allowed to win.
It’s amazing how easy it actually is to tap into the bigger “We,” when we have a collective intention to hold space, welcome and to truly be loving. That is why at every one of our workshops, both the staff and participants come away with a deeper appreciation for the “other.” It’s quite natural and what we are made for. We are made for Love!
For your own personal “Love Challenge” this week, I invite you to think of someone you judge as “other” – someone you don’t understand or can’t make sense of, and actually truly listen to him or her. For 5-10 minutes just let them talk without you interrupting them. Go on a journey with them, into the land of the other. Just have the intention to understand them, not to change them, not to agree or disagree, but to simple get to know them better. Give them the gift of your loving listening.
I would love to hear how this goes for you – leave a comment about listening to the “other” below!
Blessings and love,
Britta
