At COR, the February theme has been Compassion and Forgiveness.
Compassion really has three different aspects: giving compassion to others, receiving compassion from others and extending self-compassion. All three are equally essential, and one overflows to the others. If any of them is blocked, the others can’t fully blossom either.
For most people, the most difficult of those three seems to be extending self-compassion. We all know in theory that it’s a good idea, but when we are experiencing difficulties, be it emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, do we make it a point to extend compassion to ourselves? From my many years of experience of working with thousands of people all over the world, I’ve seen the answer, sadly, more often than not is No.
Therefore I invite you to take extending self-compassion as a practice. You may not be good at this yet, but I promise you, the more you practice it, the more it will grow in you. That’s how it was for me.
To assist you, I made two Getting to the CORe Podcast episodes this month about self-compassion:
Episode 5 is a recorded coaching session about how to help yourself in those times when unwanted and difficult thoughts and feeling arise.
Listen to how my client Amy applies the qualities of compassion, kindness, and forgiveness to herself when challenging stuff comes up for her around her ex-partner. Travel with her as she, instead of stepping on the train of destructive thought patterns, finds a new way to ground herself inside her own body. Experience inner peace with her during what could have easily turned out to be a very unhelpful emotional roller coaster.
Then stay tuned afterward where I talk more about how you can apply this to your own life, and find some great new tools to mindfully deal with these unwanted thought patterns or difficult emotional charges that seem to come out of nowhere.
Episode 6 is a guided 10-minute meditation that helps you to open to Self-Compassion. Use this meditation any time to ground feelings of kindness and forgiveness inside your own body. Instead of going on an unhelpful emotional roller coaster, let this meditation help you to experience inner peace.
I hope both these episodes help you realize that your difficult feelings are so human, and many others experience the same or something similar. You are never alone in your distress -or in your joy for that matter – and always part of a greater Whole.
I invite you to consider making a vow that from now on you stop being hard on yourself when you’re already experiencing something difficult. Instead, bring compassion to yourself.
What if you tried that on for let’s say 40 days, as that seems to be how long it takes at least to install a new habit? What if, from now on, every day you gave yourself compassion when the hard things come your way?
Both episodes will give you plenty of proven tools. The question is will you actually use the tools and practice them? I hope the answer is a self-loving Yes. I am pretty sure you’re one of those beautiful souls who want to make this world a better place. And I promise you, the more compassion you extend to yourself and the more compassion you let in from others when you are in distress, the more you will be able to apply that same healing balm to others when they need it.
To your ever-growing ability to be a beacon of compassion in this world!