Week 3
Week 3 Homework:
Daily Meditation: Week 3’s Self- Compassion Meditation
You can use the different length CCT meditations, or the meditation we recorded for you.
As an add on, you can also use Britta’s Daily Grace Meditations, where she goes through the Self-Compassion steps, one step at a time. (Each meditation is about 5-8 minutes long, with the possibility for you to pause the video and spend some time in silent contemplation, if you wish)
- Self Compassion: Acknowledging our Distress
- Self Compassion: Reassuring ourselves that it is ok to feel this
- Self Compassion: Recognizing Common Humanity
- Self Compassion: Skillful Self Mentoring
- Self Compassion: The Whole Practice
Practice tips:
When you picture a time when you were suffering (in the Compassion for Oneself meditation), take good care of yourself by not going to the worst thing you can think of.
Find a photo of yourself as a child to place near your meditation spot. Seeing the photo will connect you to the visualization in the Self-Compassion Meditation from class.
Daily Life Practices:
- Self-Compassion Letter
Write a Self-Compassion Letter to yourself! You will share this letter with one other person during next week’s class, so keep it brief (no longer than 1 page) for that purpose. If you wish to write a longer version of the self compassion letter, please do and also make a shortened version to share next week.
- Replace Negative Judgments
Notice and be more aware when you are criticizing, judging, or shaming yourself. As you bring awareness to these thoughts, recognize that in that moment you have a choice. Would you like to continue to judge or criticize yourself? Or would you like to explore meeting yourself with compassion or kindness. You can ask yourself, “If one of my friends were struggling with something similar, what would I say to him/her?” Explore ways you can consciously replace negative judgments with more compassionate narratives.
- Needs Inventory
Explore if you can identify the unmet need when you’re aware of any difficult feelings and then validate the need using the Needs Inventory. Allow the feelings to be felt in the body, and then see if you can release the negative thought.
OPTIONAL | SUGGESTED
- Self-Compassion Break
Practice the Self-Compassion Break once a day or when you notice you are engaging in negative self talk.
- Supportive Touch
Use Supportive Touch (similar to what we did at the start of our meditation in class) when you feel in need of a little self-soothing when things are difficult.
- Scale to Assess Self-Compassion
Complete Dr. Kristin Neff’s assessment of Self-Compassion.
- [Optional] Book Reading: A Fearless Heart by Thupten Jinpa Chapters for Week 3: Chapter 7- “May I be happy? Caring for Ourselves” pages 133 – 144.
SUPPLEMENTAL RESOURCES:
Needs Inventory that we used in class
ARTICLES:
Greater Good Magazine, Berkeley 2016:
Five Science-Backed Strategies to Build Resilience
Greater Good Magazine, (2015) Kristin Neff:
The Five Myths of Self Compassion
(2014) Emma Seppala, Ph.D.:
How to Practice Self Compassion
(2014) Psychology in Austria, Kristin Neff and Andrew P. Costigan
Self-Compassion, Wellbeing, and Happiness
(2007): Leary, Tate, Allen, Adams, and Hancock
Self-Compassion and Reactions to Unpleasant Self-Relevant Events: The Implications of Treating Oneself Kindly
QUOTES/POEMS:
“So how can we really seek a compassion that can stand in awe at what people [including ourselves] have to carry rather than stand in judgment at how they carry it?” – Fr. Greg Boyle
“Shame actually comes on our behalf trying to take care of us. We blame ourselves so we can believe the world is a safe and beautiful place or would be if we had done something different.” – Andrea Gibson
“Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kindly, like we would a close friend we cared about. Rather than making global evaluations of ourselves as “good” or “bad,” self-compassion involves generating kindness toward ourselves as imperfect humans, and learning to be present with the inevitable struggles of life with greater ease. It motivates us to make needed changes in our lives not because we’re worthless or inadequate, but because we care about ourselves and want to lessen our suffering.” – Dr. Kristin Neff
“An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathetically hold both parts of ourselves, the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place. The process of mourning and self-forgiveness frees us in the direction of learning and growing. In connecting moment by moment to our needs, we increase our creative capacity to act in harmony with them.” – Marshall Rosenberg
May all that is unforgiven in you
Be released.
May your fears yield
Their deepest tranquilities.
May all that is unlived in you
Blossom into a future
Graced with love.
– John O’Donohue